


the dream of you, it sleeps too (but it never slips away)

by Lily_rizzy



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Angst, Ficlet, M/M, Moving On
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-04
Updated: 2017-12-04
Packaged: 2019-02-10 08:55:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12908571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lily_rizzy/pseuds/Lily_rizzy
Summary: Roberts' eyes blink open. He feels confused, disorientated. Almost like he's hungover but without the headache.Where am I? He thinks. He feels as though he's slept for a year.There's heat radiating from a body pressed in front of him, a spine against his chest. Robert raises himself onto his elbow to look.It’s Aaron.-or going back and moving on.





	the dream of you, it sleeps too (but it never slips away)

Roberts' eyes blink open. He feels confused, disorientated. Almost like he's hungover but without the headache.   
  
_Where am I?_ He thinks. He feels as though he's been sleeping for years.   
  
There's heat radiating from a body pressed in front of him, a spine against his chest. Robert raises himself onto an elbow to look.   
  
It’s _Aaron._   
  
Dark curls and soft faced Aaron. The type of Aaron that used to be all Roberts on a lazy Sunday morning or a sleepy Wednesday night.   
  
His eyes are shut, and he’s snoring softly, the way Robert remembers. He looks like he always used to, when he used to fall asleep before Robert and allowed him the luxury of looking, of appreciating.   
  
He's also naked.   
  
And so is Robert.   
  
Robert sits upright and continues to look, looks around the room for clues. For empty beer bottles, piles of hastily removed clothes or ripped open condom packets. Looks for evidence of a regretful night of ex-sex.  He can’t see anything.   
  
What he can see doesn’t make any sense. They’re in their - _Aaron’s_ \- bedroom in The Mill. Roberts clothes are neatly folded on the chair in the corner of the room, a habit from the short time they lived here together. Aaron’s are strewn all over the floor, as usual.   
  
Roberts shoes poking out from the open wardrobe. His tie hanging on the back of the en suites door.  
  
A framed photo of the two of them, one Belle had taken during their first dance, resting on the dresser.   
  
None of it makes any sense.   
  
Robert has to get up, has to look. Has to try and piece this together and make sense of it.   
  
He’s staring at the photo so intensely, running his finger along the glass that the voice that comes from behind startles him.  
  
“Rob? What are you doing?”   
  
He turns to see a bleary-eyed Aaron running a hand over his face, looking confused. There’s more in that look too. _Love. Open affection._ Things Robert hasn’t seen from Aaron in so long, it makes his heart hammer against his rib cage.  
  
“Are you okay, Aaron?” What he really wants to ask is, _what the fuck is going on_ , but this seems better.  
  
Aaron laughs sleepily. “Yeah. Shouldn’t I be asking you that? It’s four in the morning, Rob, come back to bed.”   
  
Roberts heart beats faster, swells in his chest. He grins like the idiot Aaron must think he is and practical leaps under the covers beside him.   
  
Is this them, _finally_ fixing things?   
  
Aaron rolls his eyes and rolls over, ready to resume the position Robert woke up in. Robert gathers him tightly to his chest, both arms around him.   
  
“Are you really here? Am I really here?” He asks, dizzy.   
  
 Aaron looks quizzically at Robert over his shoulder. “Did you have a bad dream or somethin' Rob?”  
  
“Or something. How did we end up here?"   
  
If Aaron was looking at him funnily before, now he's looking as Robert as though he's raving mad. "We went to bed, you idiot. Come on; you didn't drink that much at the pub earlier."   
  
Robert wants to remind him of everything, of Rebecca, of Seb, of his schemes to get hold of Home Farm. But it feels wrong. It feels like talk like that doesn't belong here, in their bed. Aaron is acting as though none of it happened and Roberts almost beginning to wonder if it _did_. But thinking of Seb makes his swelling heart crack a little at the edges, so that must be something.   
  
Being here with Aaron feels like he's where he's meant to be. He's not going to ruin that.  
  
 "God, I missed you.” He buries his head in Aaron’s hair and inhales deeply. Tears prick the back of his eyes, and before he knows it, they’re sliding down his face. “I missed you so much, Aaron.”   
  
Aaron scoffs. “Soft lad. It’s been 5 hours since we fell asleep, tops.”   
  
He continues to cry into Aaron’s hair. He doesn't know what's happening, but this time with Aaron feels precious. It feels like it will be snatched away at any moment. He wants to say so much, say all the things that have been bubbling so close to the surface for months. Wants to say sorry a thousand times until his throat is raw and replace the word after with, 'I love you's' and 'promise me, we can try again.'   
  
But he doesn't. Instead, he holds him. His grip on reality is wavering. Besides, neither of them have ever been any good with words; he just hopes that Aaron can sense that he really is everything. That he always was.  

* * *

When Robert wakes up in the morning, he's alone. He's not in The Mill; he's in the B&B.   
  
It's not the first time he's dreamt of the life he almost had, but this was the first time it felt so real. Maybe it's because he's been seeing more of Aaron recently.   
  
It doesn't dull the feeling of loss, that travels so quickly around his body, Robert wonders if it's in his blood.  
  
Aaron had always been in his bones, after all.   
  
Roberts mind wanders back to the day before.   
  
When he had seen Aaron kiss that idiot doctor inside the cafe. He had seen his husband touch another man the same way he used to touch Robert.   
  
_I know what that feels like,_ he had thought, and thinks now again. _To be the centre of Aarons world is like being the sun. I know how quickly you can get drunk on that look of devotion._   
  
But, Robert had turned and walked away, (though what he'd really wanted to do was drag Aaron away and demand what he was doing). He had hoped his new found restraint meant he had finally admitted to himself that he needs to move on.   
  
He twists the ring on his left hand, the metal feeling like it's burning against his skin.   
  
How can Aaron look at someone else like that, when Robert still wears the ring Aaron had put on his finger as a symbol of love and fidelity.   
  
Robert almost scoffs at his hypocritical train of thought. He continues to twist the ring on his finger.   
  
He's not ready to take it off just yet.   
  
  
  
  
 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked this!   
> Lil x


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